I date multiple men, no-strings attached and it makes me happy – but I won’t slide into DMs, says Carol Vorderman

CAROL VORDERMAN is not your typical 60-something woman. 

With her long blonde hair, curves that would turn Kim K green with envy, and barely a wrinkle in sight, some might even say she’s growing old disgracefully.

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But comments like this infuriate her.

She sighs: “I don’t understand why my behaviour should change just because I’m getting older.

“There are people dancing away at 87 and having a good time. They’re not harming anyone.”

Carol first came to the public eye over 40 years ago on Channel 4 quiz show Countdown as a shy 21 year old.

But over the years, she has transformed herself into the confident sex bomb currently squeezing herself into various latex numbers for our cover shoot today.

And chatting to her, it becomes clear why she is sticking two fingers up to common attitudes around ageing.

“My generation was told: ‘Get married as soon as you can,’ and: ‘Find somebody who could look after you.’

“At my 18th birthday, my mum Jean said: ‘It’s about time you settle down. You need to get married within the year.

“Your sister is 26, she’s on the shelf.’ She was serious – and it was not unusual.”

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But Carol, now 62, wasn’t about to get hitched. At that point, she was already one year into a degree in engineering at Cambridge University – eventually graduating with a master’s. 

“That’s one of the things I am most proud of – going from free school meals in a comprehensive in Wales to Cambridge a year early. It was unheard of. So I had this incredible opportunity, but the whole thing was: ‘Get married’.

“When I was growing up, it was all: ‘Women shouldn’t wear this.’ ‘Don’t have long hair when you’re 42.’ Obviously I fought against those rules all my life.

“I love seeing how younger generations, like my girl [Carol’s daughter Katie, who graduated from Cambridge herself last year with a PhD in nanotechnology and has been studying at the International Space University in France] have a million more opportunities than I ever did.”

‘It’s b*****ks’

Carol did get married, at the age of 24, to Christopher Mather, a Royal Navy officer, but the marriage only lasted a year.

She then tied the knot again, to management consultant Patrick King, in 1990.

They had two children together, Katie, 30, and Cameron, 25, before separating in 2000.  

She has had some longer-term relationships since, but these days Carol says she’s enjoying a “freer” way of dating. 

“Every romcom tells women to look for love and live happily ever after,” she says.

“It’s all nonsense. We sell every little girl the message: ‘Cinderella needs a prince to save her.’ Yet half of marriages end in divorce. 

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“I get frustrated when women are told to find a man.

“It’s b*****ks, because the goal is not to be in love, the goal is to be happy. 

“I want to be able to genuinely say: ‘I love my life.’ And I can say that. So I don’t need to be validated by this nonsense. Love comes in many forms.

“A lot of people can make you happy, whether that’s your best mate, your kids, brothers and sisters, friends or male friends. Being alone does not make you lonely – the two sentiments are often confused.

“I’m a great believer that you live life in chapters.

“I was married for 10 years, and we were both so happy. And then in the last six months, we weren’t and we got divorced.

“I don’t see my marriage as a failure. So I’m in a new chapter that’s been going on for 10 years now.”

For the past decade, Carol has been having “no-strings-attached” relationships with multiple men and believes many of her peers are doing similar but simply feel too much shame to admit it.

“I am a great proponent that if women choose to not get married or they want to be with someone for a limited period of time, they can now,” she explains.

I am a great proponent that if women choose to not get married or they want to be with someone for a limited period of time, they can now.

“It’s your choice if you have a boyfriend or you don’t.

“I might have a boyfriend who only lasts a few months. I call them ‘special friends’. People may have other terms for them [laughs]!

“But I’m happy living my life that way. The people involved are also very happy about it. That’s between us, it’s nothing at all to do with anybody else.

“The first rule is: do no harm, so for me that means only single people, obviously.

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“In the past, you’d be called horrible words as a woman. A man is a ‘player’, but there is no female equivalent word. So I’ve made one up. I call it ‘Boada’, which is like [ancient warrior queen] Boadicea.

“I’m not going to tell you all the details, but one of my ‘friendships’ has gone on for 11 years. And I have one ‘special friend’ in America. Sliding into DMs is not how I operate, but if people want to do that, that’s up to them.”

She’s clear, too, that choosing to live this life should hold no shame. “I have a very full, happy, exciting and adventurous life. And it makes me laugh every day. It’s ridiculous and it’s fantastic. 

“I think many people are living that life but are too frightened to say. There are a lot of fresh divorcees coming into their 50s and the majority wouldn’t want to get married again.

“They’d say: ‘Maybe I’d like someone, maybe a few people. I didn’t know I wanted to do this, but I want to explore this now.’”

‘Make the bloody most of it’

As well as romantic engagements, Carol admits she has lots of male friends for other activities and shared interests. “I go paddleboarding. I love horse racing.

“One of my friends is an astronaut. So I have a lot of friends, not just ‘special friends’. There are so many different elements to my life. I’ve found in the past that when I’ve been in a ‘traditional’ relationship, it restricted my life.

“It’s been: ‘You should be interested in what I’m interested in.’ Now I can make a decision and I don’t have to check in with anybody.”

Her change of attitude has come from getting older and taking stock of how she wants to spend the time she has left – and who she wants to spend it with.

“The question everyone should ask themselves when they get to a certain age is: ‘How old do you think you will be when you die?’ There’s a switch that flicks in your 50s where you go: ‘Right, I’d better make the bloody most of it.’”

She is, though, surely one of the fittest 62 year olds around. “I regard myself as the luckiest woman in the world,” she says. “I’m healthy. I’ve looked after my health for decades.”

Carol is a regular attendee at Juicy Retreats’ wellness and detox breaks held in the UK and Europe – she has a visit planned this month – and is also a big fan of walking. But what is the secret to her unbelievable body?

“I think it’s to just keep doing something. I’ve been doing hyperbaric oxygen therapy. I sit in an oxygen chamber under pressure. It’s brilliant. I have my bloods checked.

“Obviously I have to pay for all of this. I watch what I eat. When I did my first detox, it was slated by nutritionists, but now intermittent fasting is an accepted thing.

“I’m post-menopause, but I do advise women to get their thyroid checked, as it controls a lot of things in your body.”

Carol is thrilled that speaking about the menopause is no longer taboo since she first opened up about it years ago. It’s terrifically important that we are talking about it,” she says.

“Nothing fazes me now, but for women who don’t have as much confidence, they need to know there are other women out there feeling the same. Particularly the generation behind me. They were told to accept everything in life.”

While many speculate her flawless skin is down to a nip and tuck, she says it was pal Kelly Brook who helped her find her skincare secret.

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“I don’t like filler at all,” she says.

“Years ago I tried it and it just doesn’t suit me. People always ask: ‘What have you done to your skin?’ Well, I use a thing called P3 treatment, which Kelly recommended.

“A Pico laser opens up millions of tiny holes under the skin called vacuoles, then it takes your blood and it mixes the plasma. And it’s like half and half and then injects it almost in your hairline. It’s almost like champagne going under your skin. You feel it fizzing.”

Nothing fazes me now, but for women who don’t have as much confidence, they need to know there are other women out there feeling the same.

Talk of avoiding wrinkles comes back to the pressure on women to age in a certain way. Does Carol think there is too much emphasis on women looking perfect? 

“Striving for perfection is very restrictive. I don’t care what other people think, because I know who I am. I’ve got the biggest heart.

“I have a good social conscience. I help a lot of kids with The Maths Factor [Carol’s online maths resource]. We made it free of charge during lockdown. We lost money, but that is the nature of who I am.”

Carol’s latest project is her new podcast Perfect 10. The multi-platform series is released daily and made up of 10 quick questions designed to entertain, educate… and irritate.

“I’m genuinely very excited about it,” she says. “You do 10 questions and get the answers there and then. It’s the same format every day. It’s not like The Chase or Mastermind. Everyone can play and it doesn’t take long. They’re all doable.” 

Of course, Carol showed off her maths brain for years on Countdown. So when Anne Robinson stepped down from hosting the show in July last year, many fans hoped she might return, before Colin Murray took over the role.

“When it comes to Countdown, my name always gets thrown into the ring. But although it’s the same format, it’s a different show now. I just cherish what we had. It was 26 years, 23 of them with His Lordship [Richard Whiteley].

“We laughed and had the best time. It was only ever joyous. Then Richard died very suddenly [in 2005 after a heart operation, aged 61] and I don’t think it’s ever been the same since.

“But everything moves on and I wish them all the best. I don’t think there’s anything in the future for me there, but who knows?

“I’m not saying never. That’s one thing that you learn as you get older: you just don’t know what the hell’s going to happen.”

With Carol, it sounds like anything really could. 

• Perfect 10 With Carol Vorderman is available on YouTube and all podcast platforms now.